Love Thy Self – A Lesson In Self Love for the Busy Woman (for all women)

Ladies.  This post comes to you from a time of ultimate act of self love – Self Respect.  Honouring ourselves.

This past week Adam was away – something that I’ll never quite get used to, but push on and endure regardless, and Im generally pretty proud of how the outcome went: I managed to keep up with the bath/bed routine (as lax as it is, they all went to bed clean, fed, and happy).  I worked in our garden (rock harvest 2018 – rolls eyes), and cut about 3 acres of grass, and maintained the main areas of the house pretty well.

I made sure my kitchen was in order at night before bed (which often wasnt completed until about 10, 10:30pm), and always set my coffee so that in the morning all I had to do was press a button. That made me smile every day. I took the kids to swimming lessons, on hikes and grocery shopping.  None of those are easy feats with 3 kids under the age of 6 yo.  Dont take me for a super hero though – I had about 5 loads of laundry to fold and put away, and at least as many to wash.

Then the weekend rolled around.

Saturday morning was a bust. It was the day my mother in law would bury her mother.  Adam was to arrive early to help out and drive my mother in law to and from the funeral home/cemetery; leaving me responsible for getting the boys ready to go.  They weren’t technically invited to the funeral – they were allowed to go to the thing after, so I knew I had plenty of time to get everyone ready.  Besides, whats one more day of solo parenting?

That’s what I thought until the brink of dawn on Saturday morning.

I woke up with a full blown migraine and could barely function.

Migraines, if you haven heard, are crippling.  For me they have a habit of showing up when its rainy (which it was), and when it gets close to that time of the month (which it was – sorry if TMI), and when I am depraved of caffeine.  That was highly unlikely though because coffee and I are besties and we hang out a lot.  Migraines also rear their ugly face when Im dehydrated, so I got up, drank a bucket of water, and proceeded to do all the things I could possibly do to get well – all while trying not to heave.

I showered (trying to loosen my muscles), had a coffee (get that caffeine in) and had a bite to eat, medicated (read: medicated, not meditated… so closely related though lol), and I laid back down with an ice pack before the kids all got up and started wanting things and tearing the place apart.  By this time, Adam was gone.

There came that point of no return.

The time I must-have-everyone-loaded-up-if-were-going-to-get-to-the-thing-ontime point of no return.

I had 2 choices.

  1.  Grab a pillow and a blanket, head for the couch and put a movie on for the kids and hope for the best.   OR
  2. Dig something decent to wear for the 4 of us out of the laundry baskets heaping with clean but wrinkled clothes, bath they kids and wash their hair, do something with my still wet hair, (doing makeup was way off my radar regardless), and strap them all into their car seats, fill up my dead empty van and make the 1 hour drive to Grandmas, all while fighting the urge to hurl.


Can you guess which one I chose to do?

Guys.  Ive never let my health interfere with important life events.  I’ve never had to sub myself for another photographer at a shoot or wedding, even all the months I was on crutches and couldn’t shoot the ceremony I was there with my associates.  I never missed an important family celebration. This day called for self respect, self love, and self forgiveness because this was one of those times when I felt like I “should” do something.

How often does the right thing to do trump our needs?

Amidst busy schedules – careers, school, family – whatever you have got going on; there are time where your needs – your well being, just has to come first, with no apologizes, and no guilt!

I think we have a tendency to over-dramatize what will happen when we don’t do something we feel we’re “supposed to” in order to take care of ourselves.

Maybe we are worried that we wont be liked or someone will be mad at us. That we will appear selfish.  Maybe were terrified that we’ll lose our job, or ruin our chances at that new promotion your in line for.  You’re worried that you wont land that dream client if you dont send the proposal immediately.

But here is the thing.  If you value yourself, so will everyone else. And if they don’t? Ask yourself if they truly belong in your life?

I bet you’re dying to know how my day ended though.

EVERYTHING was ok! No one hated on me, no one judged me, and everyone was fine.  I recovered from my migraine, Adam brought us back a doggie bag of Moms potato salad (so good) and some fruit and life went on.  Am I sorry  I missed the funeral? Yes, but am I going to beat myself up about it? NO.

So if you read this post and it resonated with you even a little; I hope you can take something away from my little tale.

The world will still spin on its axis, and you will still be loved. In fact, you will be loved more that ever, just because you are truly practicing self love.

“I respect myself and insist upon it from everybody. And because I do it, I then respect everybody, too.”  Maya Angelo