Major Samskaras of My Life (Old Thought Patterns and Conditioning)
The Major Samskaras of My Life
(As I Have Witnessed in My Level Of Consciousness)
What is a Samskara?
In yoga a samskara is a karmic inheritance of an emotional pattern or belief. It can be positive or negative. In psychology and the coaching world its better known as Programming or Conditioning – and is beleived it comes from our upbringing, usually planted in early childhood.
Thought Patterns & Conditioning Runs Deep
…..and it takes self awareness to bring it to the forefront so that you can witness it, and work through it.
Yoga has done this for me, in the connection to myself that it brought.
It Takes Work, Observation and Reflection
As I share this, please note this is a personal reflection, but I do feel that so many other people can relate which is why I’m sharing it publicly in this space. I include ways that I work through this nasty old pattern toward the bottom, and I hope it may help you now, or in the future.
The most negative and disruptive thought pattern I have caught myself steeping in more recently was probably the most limiting and harmful of all.
The mindset that I am Not Enough.
It comes in a few forms: I am not peaceful enough, organized enough, talented enough, cool enough, beautiful enough, young enough…. but the common thread is Not Enough. It has come through in my parenting, in my work, and in my personal relationships and social life.
“Not Enough” manifests from my fear & sadness of perceived rejection.
My ego is massively triggered when I assume I’m being judged or criticized, or at risk of losing something or someone, or worse yet – if I feel that I already have lost, or if I have failed. From there the stories begin to spin, and it becomes this space of judgment – and the truth is I’m the toughest judge around, when it comes to my successes.
Acting in a Place of Fear
The effect of years and years of this way of thinking has caused me to act in fear, be over- reactive or sometimes not act at all. I have become aware of times when I have been afraid to approach people, to speak up for myself, to ask for help. I’ve also been known to be reactive: pushing harder in my business, trying desperately to become more visible and striving for external validation.
I have held the praise and criticisms of others very high. Other people’s opinions mattered far too much too me. Praise is nice, but equal weight is given to criticism. What I mean is as high in the clouds as I can be from a compliment; I can sink equally as low from a negative opinion, so I have had to consider how much value I give positive feedback.
In the end the only opinion that matters is mine, and whether I’ve done my best, and if I am in alignment with my core values.Other people’s thoughts and opinions are none of my business. That is what I try to remind myself of, when I’m out of alignment, or even before I get that far.
In addition to keeping that thought at the front of my mind, if I do get out of whack, I cycle through the following thoughts and journal them to work through the situation I’ve created.
What is the story and what is the truth? What do I know for sure?
I have the power to choose how this ends. Choose to operate from a place of love and compassion for myself and others.
Where is the lesson to be learned from this?
From Fear to Love
The other side of this IS the truth. What I AM!
I am creative
I am compassionate
I am kind
I am empathetic and intuitive
I am abundant
I am helpful
I am beautiful
I am courageous
I am fun
I am peaceful
I am the light of my soul
I love with my entire being
I believe I’ve made huge progress in this but the work continues. I’m grateful for the awareness I’ve opened to thus far from the work I’ve done. Trust the process and it IS a process.
Not Enough seems like a bad word now… slowly (every so slowly), becoming obsolete in my vocabulary.
“You owe it to yourself to be yourself.” YB
THANK YOU!!!! Personal Development, Goals and Stuff
Dear Clients: Past Present and Future! Thank you!!!!!
Normally at this time of year I would share a 2018 highlight video, or blog post; but this year with our unusually lengthy travel plans, I’m forgoing that plan (for now). Instead I am popping in with a simple, but heartfelt thanks to all of my clients from this year.
Those of you had me along to document your relationships, whether they were weddings, elopements, boudoir/empowerment sessions, family photos, or creative branding shoots – this year was chalk full of wonderful opportunities for me, and Im so grateful for the connections and relationships that have developed over the year.
Im so happy I had the pleasure of working with all of you, and Im eager to start 2019 on this frequency of happiness & gratitude.
This year was a big one for self discovery and personal development, and want to share a little of those reflections with you. I will share in the next few posts, as its really meant for the creative entrepreneurs that I lead through our TuesdaysTogether group, and those that are interested in boosting their personal development themselves.
I’n the posts to come I’ll be writing about what I learned this year, my biggest take aways, fears I faced and, how I truly connected with My Why. Stick around to discover what is next for us here at jenniferhibberd.com in terms of future goals.
My facial expression is a complete match for how pumped I am for 2019!!!
Happy New Year Friends!
Positive Affirmations To Begin Living Your Best Life
Positive Affirmations To Begin Living Your Best Life
Today on Instagram I was talking about the power of positive thinking and posted a quote by Dr Wayne Dyer.
The quote said:
“When you become certain that nothing is impossible for you, you will obtain everything you desire.”
Powerful stuff huh? Read it again. When you become CERTAIN that nothing is impossible….
I know this isn’t the usual material you find on my photography blog, and it might sound a little woo woo but hear me out.
Positive thinking has been part of my self care for the last year and a bit, and if you’ve been following on Instagram, you’ll know that I’m a huge advocate of self care and self love.
The truth is maybe if I hadn’t integrated positive affirmations into my life, I wouldn’t have many of the things and the life Im so proud of and continuously express gratitude for.
I could talk about this stuff for hours and days to be honest – but I wanted this to be a quick read, with stuff that ANYONE can use in their lives to help them achieve their dreams and goals.
What are you dreaming about?
Maybe its to start your own business.
Or to get get that promotion.
Travel for 3 weeks in Europe with your bestie, or fiance or new husband.
It’s time to stop looking at all the reasons NOT to go for something that you’re yearning for, and instead start looking at the millions of reasons you should or CAN acquire this.
Whatever you’re wanting in life – be certain that everything is possible!
My number one affirmation or mantra that I repeat every day is:
“I TRUST and BELIEVE I can have whatever my heart desires. I trust that the universe is guiding me.”
You can take this as it is, or make it your own, or even write your own.
The point is that you OWN & believe your affirmations.
Write them in your journal, on sticky notes on the back of your hand – wherever you’ll see them.
You’ll want to say them internally and aloud, and repeat them daily. At first it might feel silly but trust me – it’s like doing anything new. In the beginning it feels hard or weird, but before long it will feel second nature – and the benefits are worth it.
In the very near future your confidence will grow, and you will realize your true potential.
3 Positive Affirmations for Success
I am worthy of achieving my desires.
I am creating my dream life.
I trust that the Universe is guiding me.
Saying and feeling those 3 short but powerful positive affirmations everyday – verbalizing it, writing it, and believing in it, will put you on track to learning so much about the power within yourself.
I’ll close there for this post, but let me know if you enjoyed this post, and if there is something you have manifested in your life through positive feelings.
In an upcoming post I’m going to share with you how I manifested my dream house – because Im pretty sure it will blow your mind.
If you want to stay up to date with my posts about self care, personal growth and lifestyle and receive my full self care guide – take a moment to subscribe below!
Love Thy Self – A Lesson In Self Love for the Busy Woman
Love Thy Self – A Lesson In Self Love for the Busy Woman (for all women)
Ladies. This post comes to you from a time of ultimate act of self love – Self Respect. Honouring ourselves.
This past week Adam was away – something that I’ll never quite get used to, but push on and endure regardless, and Im generally pretty proud of how the outcome went: I managed to keep up with the bath/bed routine (as lax as it is, they all went to bed clean, fed, and happy). I worked in our garden (rock harvest 2018 – rolls eyes), and cut about 3 acres of grass, and maintained the main areas of the house pretty well.
I made sure my kitchen was in order at night before bed (which often wasnt completed until about 10, 10:30pm), and always set my coffee so that in the morning all I had to do was press a button. That made me smile every day. I took the kids to swimming lessons, on hikes and grocery shopping. None of those are easy feats with 3 kids under the age of 6 yo. Dont take me for a super hero though – I had about 5 loads of laundry to fold and put away, and at least as many to wash.
Then the weekend rolled around.
Saturday morning was a bust. It was the day my mother in law would bury her mother. Adam was to arrive early to help out and drive my mother in law to and from the funeral home/cemetery; leaving me responsible for getting the boys ready to go. They weren’t technically invited to the funeral – they were allowed to go to the thing after, so I knew I had plenty of time to get everyone ready. Besides, whats one more day of solo parenting?
That’s what I thought until the brink of dawn on Saturday morning.
I woke up with a full blown migraine and could barely function.
Migraines, if you haven heard, are crippling. For me they have a habit of showing up when its rainy (which it was), and when it gets close to that time of the month (which it was – sorry if TMI), and when I am depraved of caffeine. That was highly unlikely though because coffee and I are besties and we hang out a lot. Migraines also rear their ugly face when Im dehydrated, so I got up, drank a bucket of water, and proceeded to do all the things I could possibly do to get well – all while trying not to heave.
I showered (trying to loosen my muscles), had a coffee (get that caffeine in) and had a bite to eat, medicated (read: medicated, not meditated… so closely related though lol), and I laid back down with an ice pack before the kids all got up and started wanting things and tearing the place apart. By this time, Adam was gone.
There came that point of no return.
The time I must-have-everyone-loaded-up-if-were-going-to-get-to-the-thing-ontime point of no return.
I had 2 choices.
Grab a pillow and a blanket, head for the couch and put a movie on for the kids and hope for the best. OR
Dig something decent to wear for the 4 of us out of the laundry baskets heaping with clean but wrinkled clothes, bath they kids and wash their hair, do something with my still wet hair, (doing makeup was way off my radar regardless), and strap them all into their car seats, fill up my dead empty van and make the 1 hour drive to Grandmas, all while fighting the urge to hurl.
Can you guess which one I chose to do?
Guys. Ive never let my health interfere with important life events. I’ve never had to sub myself for another photographer at a shoot or wedding, even all the months I was on crutches and couldn’t shoot the ceremony I was there with my associates. I never missed an important family celebration. This day called for self respect, self love, and self forgiveness because this was one of those times when I felt like I “should” do something.
How often does the right thing to do trump our needs?
Amidst busy schedules – careers, school, family – whatever you have got going on; there are time where your needs – your well being, just has to come first, with no apologizes, and no guilt!
I think we have a tendency to over-dramatize what will happen when we don’t do something we feel we’re “supposed to” in order to take care of ourselves.
Maybe we are worried that we wont be liked or someone will be mad at us. That we will appear selfish. Maybe were terrified that we’ll lose our job, or ruin our chances at that new promotion your in line for. You’re worried that you wont land that dream client if you dont send the proposal immediately.
But here is the thing. If you value yourself, so will everyone else. And if they don’t? Ask yourself if they truly belong in your life?
I bet you’re dying to know how my day ended though.
EVERYTHING was ok! No one hated on me, no one judged me, and everyone was fine. I recovered from my migraine, Adam brought us back a doggie bag of Moms potato salad (so good) and some fruit and life went on. Am I sorry I missed the funeral? Yes, but am I going to beat myself up about it? NO.
So if you read this post and it resonated with you even a little; I hope you can take something away from my little tale.
The world will still spin on its axis, and you will still be loved. In fact, you will be loved more that ever, just because you are truly practicing self love.
“I respect myself and insist upon it from everybody. And because I do it, I then respect everybody, too.” Maya Angelo